So this may or may not count as today's post. We shall see. Over the past 4+ years, my life has not been very great. I was kicked out of school cause I couldn't afford it because after my dad got sick, we lost a source of income and needed to pay all those medical bills and my family had to relocate to Florida, away from all my friends and anyway... I was no longer going to University of Hartford where I made a lot of friends, etc. Over the next 4 years my life was a roller coaster but overall just kept getting worse. This all culminated when my mom passed away in August. My mom and I were very close and after she passed I just went numb. I didn't feel the pain but my mentality and all was just going somewhere very dark. I wasn't suicidal or anything I just didn't enjoy anything. Then, I saw a concert with Big D and the Kid's Table and it quite possibly was the beginning of the turn around for me. Something about the concert and the energy was just... soothing. I even talked to the lead singer Dave after the show and it all just helped.
After the concert, I re-evaluated my life. My mom, over the course of a week went from obviously sick, but undiagnosed and with us to passed away. My DAD, in an instant went from completely fine to paralyzed stroke victim. Life is totally unexpected and unpredictable.
My dad always told me that it takes a second to get sick and a lifetime to get better. There's that song that goes "live like you're dying" and... I always misunderstood them all. I realize now, and this is the philosophy part, that I could die tomorrow. Why would I want my last day on Earth to be a day when I am depressed and sad? Instead, let all the insignificant stressors just roll off your back, don't pay them attention and enjoy your life. Secondly, you can't change the world and the more you think you can and it fails will just upset you. Instead, change the world's effect on you. You could sweat the small things or prioritize everything. Is it really the end of the world if your girlfriend breaks up with you? No. Sure it sucks. Especially if you've been together for awhile and you thought she was that "one." But really. You'll get by. Now, most things that would have upset me previous to this just don't bother me. True, I did have one day where I got really bogged down cause I was out of money, not working and had things to pay but I got myself out of it. I'm not perfect. But I'll try.
This is just part of my philosophy. More to come another time. :)
Very well written.
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