Instead of clogging up people's timelines or twitter feeds I need to vent and/or rant here. The whole "positivity" blog I started back in January was a good idea. The whole idea was, my life isn't perfect but I'm going to take something out of every day and make it amazing and find the good in everyday alive. And I have been. But lately I've been feeling like I've been trudging through mud. I know this all stems from the fact that I should be graduating from college in a week with some kind of diploma. But the fact of the matter is I'm stuck. Making little progress but, in all essence, staying in one spot.
I got back to school in the fall and because I was dedicated to not being one of those people who took time off from school and fell behind. So, I tried as hard as I could and got 3 As and a B+, a 3.8 GPA. This semester that finished yesterday I had 2 As and a B. And still, I am stuck without a degree and any sign of one coming in the near future.
Call it what you want, arrogance or confidence, I know I was meant for great things. But at the same time, I feel like I'm also destined to always have these insurmountable obstacles in my way. And yes, while I still preach and believe my whole 'unstoppable' mantra, it seems to just be getting frustrating that I'm the only one singing along.
I guess I'm just upset because I see all these people that I graduated high school with and entered college with graduating and starting their professional lives meanwhile I'm still stuck at 'GO' even though I am dreaming much, much bigger. Without sounding like a Disney musical, I know that as long as I dream it I can do it... "I believe I can fly...." but it's so frustrating seeing everyone get what they want and go where they're destined and it seems my "destiny" is to wait for a miracle.
It may be worth it to consider how much you value the conventional path. Getting a degree is a structure that people do because society advocates it, but that doesn't mean it is the epitome of success or that getting it in 8 consecutive semesters immediately after high school is the right way either. You should be really proud of your grades. The dedication and intelligence it takes to perform that well is a sign that you are special and if you keep up that ethic, you will definitely end up where you want to be...even if it takes time.
ReplyDeleteHey Dana. You're right. And believe me I'm ok with straying from the path. It's just it feels like I'm working towards nothing and every time I get going something stalls me and that is where my frustration lays. I want to be out of this whole "gen ed" rut and start studying what I want to do with my life and finally get a degree. I just feel like in the old Scooby Doo cartoons where they run and their feet spin in circles and they don't go anywhere (like that analogy?) and I'm just ready to take off already.
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