My Guardian Angel - 8/19/2012

A year ago today was the last time I saw my mom. I got home from work around 5am on August 19, 2011 only a few days my mom was told she didn't have long to live after being diagnosed with stage four cancer. After hearing this, day after day she got worse and worse. After going to bed, I woke up around 10am when my sister was taking her kids to do something for school. I told my mom and dad that if they needed anything to call and let me know, I then went back to bed. The day went on, nurses came in to see her and finally hospice came and convinced her to go to their facility so they can make her comfortable she agreed to go and around 10 she left and the condition she was in, I just couldn't bear to see her. At 12:01am on August 20, 2011 my mom passed away. My family fell apart. My mom was our rock, she knew how to do EVERYTHING. She balanced our books, took care of my sick dad, took care of her kids, grandkids and more. So in the following months we all didn't know how to get by and honestly I look back and don't remember the following 6 months after that. I was in such a haze that nothing really stuck.

This kind of brings me to the point of my writing. It's seemed that we've had a new angel somewhere for us. I don't know if there is a God or Heaven. I'm not saying there's not, I just don't know. But I just know that my mom's spirit, or being, or even just the thought of her, is guiding us to amazing things.

I don't know how but we ended up renovating and moving into our new house in December, but we did. I had a 3.8 GPA in my first semester back in school in 3 years (my mom wanted nothing more than me to finish school). I also finally have a full time, good paying job, a second job doing something I love (being a concert promoter) and more.

That, and many other examples, just gives the idea that my mom is my, and my family's guardian angel looking down on us and helping take care of us like she does so well. I love her so much and miss her even more. I can't believe it's been a year already.

That's all I've gotta say today. Good day!

Turning Point - May 11, 2012

Instead of clogging up people's timelines or twitter feeds I need to vent and/or rant here. The whole "positivity" blog I started back in January was a good idea. The whole idea was, my life isn't perfect but I'm going to take something out of every day and make it amazing and find the good in everyday alive. And I have been. But lately I've been feeling like I've been trudging through mud. I know this all stems from the fact that I should be graduating from college in a week with some kind of diploma. But the fact of the matter is I'm stuck. Making little progress but, in all essence, staying in one spot.

I got back to school in the fall and because I was dedicated to not being one of those people who took time off from school and fell behind. So, I tried as hard as I could and got 3 As and a B+, a 3.8 GPA. This semester that finished yesterday I had 2 As and a B. And still, I am stuck without a degree and any sign of one coming in the near future.

Call it what you want, arrogance or confidence, I know I was meant for great things. But at the same time, I feel like I'm also destined to always have these insurmountable obstacles in my way. And yes, while I still preach and believe my whole 'unstoppable' mantra, it seems to just be getting frustrating that I'm the only one singing along.

I guess I'm just upset because I see all these people that I graduated high school with and entered college with graduating and starting their professional lives meanwhile I'm still stuck at 'GO' even though I am dreaming much, much bigger. Without sounding like a Disney musical, I know that as long as I dream it I can do it... "I believe I can fly...." but it's so frustrating seeing everyone get what they want and go where they're destined and it seems my "destiny" is to wait for a miracle.

XLVII - 2/29 - 3/5

Hey guys. So I think I might be wrapping up this experiment. Not because I gave up thinking positivity, but because my life is getting too hectic to do it. Which is good. I know some people read it quite often... some even from Russia (?) but I just have been spreading myself too thin. And by too thin I mean I do a lot and don't have time to write about it on the blog. I do want to take time to write about my unstoppable philosophy and, ironically, that may be my final post on this blog. I won't delete it but I just will slow down the posts.

SO this isn't the end. But it is near. Thanks for reading everyone :)

XLVII - Feb 28

I got home from work at 4 am. I had class at 9:30. Not only was I there ON TIME but I was there early. Don't ask me how, aside from the fact that I am awesome like that. Also! I only went to school because my second class, world religion had a quiz and well, I aced it. So, well worth it. And even though I was exhausted at school and just wanted to sleep and I complained most of the time, I'm proud of myself for doing it. Tomorrow is our "bonus" day as a world. Leap day. Maybe I can do something special. We'll see :)

XLVI - Feb 27

So. I could tell so many stories about this god forsaken day. But it would take far too long. Maybe I'll start a video blog after this. It'd be easier to update, maybe. Anyway, to sum it up, I worked 20 hours STRAIGHT, standing the whole time. But made a great impression and great money. Who could ask for anything more?

XLV - Feb 26

So this day was my work day. Daytona 500. Except there was no race because it rained. And rained. But! I got paid for being there and got paid for being there the NEXT day 2 days of work when I originally only had one. I'll take it!

XLVI - Feb 26

I feel like a bad blogger but my life has been occupying my time, not this blog. This day I got my family ready for their Daytona 500 party the next day, had an amazing dinner. No complaints from me :)