XLVII - Feb 28

I got home from work at 4 am. I had class at 9:30. Not only was I there ON TIME but I was there early. Don't ask me how, aside from the fact that I am awesome like that. Also! I only went to school because my second class, world religion had a quiz and well, I aced it. So, well worth it. And even though I was exhausted at school and just wanted to sleep and I complained most of the time, I'm proud of myself for doing it. Tomorrow is our "bonus" day as a world. Leap day. Maybe I can do something special. We'll see :)

XLVI - Feb 27

So. I could tell so many stories about this god forsaken day. But it would take far too long. Maybe I'll start a video blog after this. It'd be easier to update, maybe. Anyway, to sum it up, I worked 20 hours STRAIGHT, standing the whole time. But made a great impression and great money. Who could ask for anything more?

XLV - Feb 26

So this day was my work day. Daytona 500. Except there was no race because it rained. And rained. But! I got paid for being there and got paid for being there the NEXT day 2 days of work when I originally only had one. I'll take it!

XLVI - Feb 26

I feel like a bad blogger but my life has been occupying my time, not this blog. This day I got my family ready for their Daytona 500 party the next day, had an amazing dinner. No complaints from me :)

XLIII - Feb 24

So that day I just hung out with the family. I was gonna maybe go out, maybe have company, ended up with none of the above and it actually didn't bother me :)

XLII - Feb 23

Today is a great day, my birthday. As much as I dislike facebook in certain ways, I was happy to see all these different people that I've met over my lifetime wish me a happy birthday, it really meant a lot. I also want to note that my mom and my aunt are no longer able to say it; though I know in some say they are looking down and saying it. But I really miss my mom.

Alright well, I'm gonna go enjoy the rest of my day with my family. Take it easy :)

XLI - Feb 22

Played a show with Rob again. This time with some friends; Lawson from PA and Dave from Florida. Not the best show but I'm not the best. But I did a great job and had a good time and that's all that matters. Oh. and Today (23rd) is my birthday so I'll talk about that in a minute.

XL - Feb 21

I had class. Did great like usual. I'm sorry for failing this. But I'm going to keep posting in this blog until day 100. That's what's up. Sorry! haha

XXXVIII - Feb 20th

So. Monday, I don't really remember what happened... I'm sorry I've been neglecting this blog. But I've been keeping busy. But it should be known that by keeping busy and making moves, I am achieving my goal and positivity reign supreme :)

XXXVII - Feb 19th

Yesterday I watched even more Boy Meets World. That show just makes me happy. Reminds me of a simpler time, I guess. Nonetheless, I spent a simple, stress free day with the family. And yeah, I get lonely but it's ok. I know I'm better than all those other people. Yeah. Haha.

"I'm born to lose but built to win."

I got all the right tools, my friends.

XXXV - Feb 18

Spent all day watching Boy Meets World. This show is my favorite. But there is a backlash. That I don't have a girl like Topanga and I'm past the place in my life to be awkward and cute with anyone. I only had one girlfriend in high school, so far I'm striking out in college... I dunno. Just frustrating. But. this is a positivity blog.

I did enjoy sharing the Boy Meets World with ALL my nieces and nephews. It made me happy that we all sat down and watched like 12 episodes today. So. Even though I'm bummed by my loneliness right now, all in all I'm ok :)

XXXV - Feb 17

I finished my student observation hours and found out that I can apply to be a substitute teacher. So I am in that process now. Hoping to land a job. It'll get me in front of a class environment, it will be cash so... lots of positives. I was feeling so good so I got the guts to ask a girl out, which I'm shy and awkward so this is a big deal, and she flat out ignored the question. Ohwells. Like I said in an earlier post. Love me or leave me alone, ya dig?

XXXIV - Feb 16

Played another open mic with Rob. Hung out with someone from school and her friends too. Had some drinks and talked and had a good time. Who could ask for anything else? Love the people around you :)

XXXIII - Feb 15

Um... I don't really remember this day. I know I went and played an open mic with Rob, did really well, drank a bit and came home. But I enjoyed playing the show. So we'll leave it at that :)

XXXII - February 14th - Valen-crap Day

So. Yesterday was as much of a roller coaster as I anticipated. Dad had a lady friend come over, which my family and I weren't comfortable with. Someone else with my dad. No, sir. I know dad needs a companion. And I think my family would be more receptive if she was respectful to our family. Long story short, there was an argument, tears and a general unpleasant feeling in my house. But we got a lot of emotions out yesterday. Emotions that all my family has had repressed. We're not healed. But we're healing.

My family is very tight knit. It's not typical. It's dysfunctional. It's crazy. But it works for us. And I know that as long as we have each other we will make it through every hurdle.

XXXI - Feb 13th - The World Is Yours

Today was pretty chill. Did some babysitting, hung with the family again. Pretty chill but it was my last day off for like 4 days straight, maybe more if I can swing it. Tomorrow I have 3 classes, then band practice, then coming home for something rather interesting, I'm sure. Wednesday I am playing an open mic in St. Augustine which I may be also auditioning for another gig. Thursday, a gig in Deland, FL and in class. Friday, student teaching. Seriously, I am loving my life right now and all the opportunities that are before me and I intend to thoroughly engage every last one of them. Why? Cause I'm young and I have the world in front of me. It's like one of my favorite movies says, "You be happy with what you got. Me? I want what's coming to me... The world and everything in it."

That's a Scarface quote. While I don't agree with the cocaine cartel aspect; I believe in taking the world for everything it's got. Here I come.

XXX - February 12th

Yesterday was about as relaxing as a day with my family can get. And I just loved it. I watched some TV, hung out, talked to my family, did a few errands. It was just a great day. It made me realize that, yes, keeping active is important, but taking one day to just relax and plan your next move. That being said, have a great day. I'll post about the 13th soon. :)

XXIX - February 11th

Well, Saturday got me thinking. I had work training for the Daytona 500, where I will be working in the parking lots. The past few years I've been working various job and it's gotten me very upset about not being able to hold a steady job and while it doesn't help everything with me financially, it made me think. I've seen and I've done so many things that I would never have done if it weren't for these random jobs. Working for the US Census, in a parking garage, etc. Sure, some of these jobs have been so mind-numbing that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies. But the thought of what I'd be doing otherwise... really I have no idea. I've put myself in this situation. I was in NJ with my band, I got a call to work at a restuarant in Florida. What if I was home when that happened? I would have taken the job. I would have not traveled the north east with my band, have a bunch of great times, learn a lot.....

Have no regrets people. Your past makes you who you are.

XXVIII - Feb 10th

Today I job shadowed at the local high school and for the second week in a row it was a great experience. There has been no glaring red flags telling me not to do this profession, which is the important part. I'm almost done with my required observation hours but I feel like afterwards I will want to observe another teacher to compare and contrast experiences.

Also, I want to point out that over the past few weeks I think I have begun to make real, set your roots in, friends. The type of people you can really count on and confide in. I think. I don't want to count my chickens but I have a good feeling about these people. Also, I forgot to mention that I made ammends of a year long quarrel with one of my best friends and I am working to fix that relationship, too. All that being said, I have work training in the morning and I am exhausted (almost typed obnoxious, either would have worked) SO to sleep I go.

Thanks for reading and supporting me, my friends and family. Love you!

XXVII - 2/9

Thursday started crappy - got a speeding ticket, didn't hand in my homework - but it totally bounced back into a great day. Did great in my classes, talked to friends, did things for my family and the most important thing is I turned the one let down from the night before into gold. I wrote a new song called "Consolation Prize" which is legit my favorite song that I've written thus far. Henry Miller said, "the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature" and I will take it one further. The best way to overcome any let down is to put a creative/artistic spin on it. Don't let your shortcomings be the death of you.

XXVI - 2/8

The glory of this day was the fact that I went, played shows and hung with friends. You can never have enough of them. Yes. My family and my personal goals are most important in my life. But friends are a great factor as well and I'm so glad to be sharing my experiences with them. And I'm glad they are/they like my band. It's so awesome. That's all to write about Wednesday.

Sorry about the brevity. I need to catch up.

XXV - 2/7

Good golly miss molly. I am so behind on this thing. Like I always say. Doing things online is cool but when you have things in real life keeping you busy, your online life goes by the way side. I can't remember what happened on Tuesday... So I'll just sum it all up with, keeping busy is important. I think it's a band name or a song title or something but I really like the phrase "I won't die defeated." I'll quote Galaxy Quest when I say "Never give up, never surrender" and I truly believe that. There was a long time when I did not believe that. But I can tell you that I am for real a believer that you must fight for everything you want. Which leads me to my inspirational phrase, "Be unstoppable"

For the past 5 years I've been accepting people telling me I can't do this and things like that. Well, I decided to stop that and pursue the answers I want. It's not always easy but you know, I'm doing it. And, oddly enough, my friend just showed me a great video that has a lot to do with what I was JUST typing. It's about being successful.

I've gone days without sleeping. I only eat when I really have to. I'm getting out on my dreams and making it all happen. Right now I am caught between being a fulltime student, working on becoming a teacher and getting my new band off the ground and you know what, I am loving every minute of it.

XXIV - 2/6

So. I am behind on my writing this morning I will fix that. On the 6th, day after the superbowl... I'm trying to remember all that happened but at the moment it's kind of blank. Probably nothing too exciting. But what I have noticed is that, yes. You need plans in your life. You need to have goals. But also, you need to live for today. Don't look at the past and get sad. The past is a guidebook of what NOT to do, and in some circumstances, what to do. What you need to do is to take your past as lessons learned and not regrets. I think that is the first step to being happy. You don't dwell on or live in the past. You can't change the past so move towards making the future better.

XXIII - Feb 5

Yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday. The greatest part of it was that I hung out with people with my family all day and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Had some drinks, made some jokes... It was great. One of the keys to living a positive life is keeping positive people around you. If people are just going to bring you down, YOU DON'T NEED THEM. Seriously. Just let them go. There is no point being so upset over someone else. I know that is inevitable. But seriously, try. It's my new philosophy and by keeping positive people in my life, I am doing great. :)

Time to shower.

XXII - Feb 4

Well, the big news about the 4th was that where I've been working since November is basically revamping and it looks like I'll be unemployed again. Which is swell, but I am actually having no problem being positive about the change. The only negativity I am feeling is just anger and frustration that I was not informed about this before I was already unemployed, ya know?

Sorry. I meant to write this on the 5th but my family threw an impromptu Super Bowl party that kicked butt. I was recap that tomorrow. For now, I need to snuggle in bed and sleep. Night!

XXI - Feb 3

So yesterday was a roller coaster. I did some observation hours for my teaching class. It was great. I think I would know how much I enjoyed it more by actually doing it, but just from watching the teacher I was with all day, I really think I will enjoy teaching. But the bad part was when my dad slipped in the bathroom and then we spent 2+ hours in the ER to find out he just bruised and scrapped his foot. Needless to say I was a wreck. I know it wasn't a terrible situation. But it could have been.

When I first saw my dad have his first stroke in a hospital back when I was a freshman in high school, it scarred me from hospitals. I went but I really didn't like it and going into hospitals always freaked me out. And then, with my mom's ordeal this past summer, I'm wary on hospitals again. But last night, I went to the ER with dad, my sister and brother-in-law. I felt like I needed to. I was very nervous. Everything is ok, which is the positive to take from that situation. It was just scary.

Also, This has to do with today, but since it's not even noon yet I'll just mention it. We got rid of our new puppy today. I really liked this puppy but the problem is, and the reason we had to give him away, is that we have a lot of kids in our house and the puppy was very very rough. We got him very young, like before he SHOULD have been taken away from his mom and we feel like that messed him up developmentally. We're going to get another dog I was just a little bummed by it but believe me I know it was for the best.

That's all I have for now. I'm working tonight (woo) so I will post tomorrow morning.

XX - Feb 2

Yesterday and last night were full of things that were amazing. We look at school and I'm please to inform you that I got a perfect score on both my first speech for my oral communications class and a perfect score on my first quiz for world religion. Boom.

The biggest event of yesterday was my first show with my new band, Day Becomes Night. This was my first show playing guitar and singing lead so I was very nervous. On top of that, it was my first show in 1 + years. Looking back on the performance, it definitely wasn't my strongest performance, I was obviously nervous on guitar but the band received compliments. Me, personally, on my stage presence and humor and the audience, made up of other songwriters and my sister/brother-in-law, said they liked the groove and feel of our music. I write a mix of ska/punk/pop-punk music with a hip-hop aspect, in case you were wondering. If I am being perfectly honest, I can't put our acoustic band in a genre. Not yet.

All in all, last night was definitely a success and we are playing another show next week in St. Augustine. Just trying to get the rust off and get comfortable on stage and get the name out. Now I am about to take my nieces and nephew to school where I will begin my observation hours, one step closer to being a teacher. Have a great day, everyone. :)

XiX - 1st of February

So, today is significant for a few reasons. 1 - I am now 22 days away from being 22. 2 - I've been sharing my positivity with the world for 19 days. 3... Ok, I can't think of another reason. But. I worked today, made some money and above all, I'm one day closer to my first show in 1+ year. I'm really excited. I'm anxious and nervous as well. I hope I do well.

Also, speaking of the band, I wrote a bunch of people in order to play some Relay For Life's in the area and it is looking good. Since my mom passed away from lung cancer and my dad is a prostate cancer survivor, this would be amazing if I could play all of the ones I asked about. A great memorial. I'm working on a song for my mother, too. But I haven't gotten it yet. But I have a few covers I'd play for her. The first would definitely be "One Step At A Time" by Four Year Strong. Actually, I want lyrics from that song tattooed on my body. I want them to be wrapped around a yellow rose for my mom. I dunno where though.

Another song would be "Cricket" by Dancehall Crashers, just a sweet song. And finally would be Proud by Have Nots, a song I was in the process of learning in her memory too. The song I'm working on is called "The Strength I Have"

Anyway, I should go to bed for school tomorrow. Good night, blog readers :)

XVIII - Jan 31

So yesterday I went to class, had band practice and came home. But on the positives, I started seriously planning my observation hours at the high school which I am so excited about. I am also excited about what my band (which is me and my friend on guitars) has been practicing for. Which is our first show. I can't wait. I will continue this in today's post.